Woman-to-Woman: Get Comfortable Negotiating
For many women, negotiation is an intimidating word. We picture it in terms of conflict and shy away from it for fear of losing an offer or coming off as abrasive. For many women, negotiation is an intimidating word. We picture it in terms of conflict and shy away from it for fear of losing an offer or coming off as abrasive. The truth is, negotiation doesn’t have to be like that. It’s time we got comfortable negotiating and started striking deals to get what we need in our careers and in the rest of our lives. Here are some tips for negotiating without anxiety:
1. View Negotiation as Collaborative
When you really think about negotiation, it’s hard to believe that women aren’t outshining men in this area. Women are natural born compromisers and collaborators! When we think about negotiation as collaboration — two parties working together to reach an agreement — suddenly it doesn’t feel so negative. Negotiation isn’t about giving in; it’s about both parties working towards a solution and a fair compromise.
2. Negotiate to Keep Pace
It’s no secret that we still have a pay gap in the United States, but we also have an expectation gap. A Universum study revealed that women’s salary expectations their first year out of business school lagged behind men’s by over $7,000. Five years out of business school, the expectation gap had widened to $25,000. When you look at those numbers, it becomes clear that women can’t afford not to negotiate! When you aim high and are open to negotiation, you’re valuing yourself and your work. If you aim low, no one is going to step in to offer you more. One of my former b-school professors suggested that if you have a tendency toward collaboration, you should try to be a little more competitive. He called it being “competitively collaborative”. Don’t stop being you, but be more aggressive on your initial request and stand your ground – don’t give in at the first sign of opposition.
3. See Negotiation in the Everyday
Negotiating certainly isn’t limited to business school and salaries; we negotiating every day to reach solutions and come to agreements. Consider where you could be negotiating on a daily basis. For example, you might not be able to negotiate the cost of a GMAT prep course, but you might negotiate a payment plan to reduce the financial burden. To find time in your schedule to study for the GMAT, you could negotiate with your significant other and friends. If you are accepted to a business school in another state, you could negotiate a deal to end your lease early. When you think about it, everything you do can be seen as a series of negotiations.
4. Think Through the Situation First
Before you make a phone call or walk into a meeting where you’ll be negotiating, think about what exactly you need to gain and what you’re willing to give up in the process. Going into the conversation prepared and ready to collaborate to reach the best possible outcome will ensure that you’re able to speak with confidence and hold your ground. Preparation is just another way to show a school, a company, or an individual that you take yourself seriously and are willing to put in the time to achieve your goals.
