Celebrating Women – My Mom

This is the second blog that I am writing this morning. The first was about Dr. Maya Angelou – maybe I’ll share that tomorrow. It was that blog about a truly phenomenal woman that led me to reflect on my first phenomenal woman, my mother. My mom’s “60+” birthday is today – suffice it to say, she is over 60, but I’m not going to get in trouble for sharing the exact number.

My father worked in business and rose through the ranks to become an executive. When I was a kid, my dad took time with me to explain his work, and the challenges and opportunities that he faced and to share the lessons that he learned. My mom stayed at home with my brothers and me for most of my childhood, but her business influence was equally important to the professional that I have become.

When I address an audience or speak to my team, I am fully the manifestation of my father – his mini-me. I can’t help but speak with authority. It’s his fault, people! I hope one day, my dad and I can do a speech together – it would be so awesome (possibly a little scary for the audience). My father served as the foundation for my outward style and presentation, my mother was the force behind my leadership.

My life’s work is helping young people realize their full potential – and it’s through my mom that I saw how to do that. My mom was my coach, my advocate and my role model. As my first coach, she helped me to see my talents and strengths. She celebrated me in the face of so many negative messages. I was a quirky kid and there were things that she had to know weren’t quite “normal”. Instead of forcing me to fit in a box, she helped me to create a bigger, more flexible box – one that would house my interests, my energy and my difference.  It was important for me to know who I was and what I was capable of and my mother made sure that others saw it too. My mom was my first advocate. She nicely, but forcefully, told (and showed) teachers who underestimated my capability that they were wrong – she let them know that the bar that they set for me was too low and that she expected them to raise it.

My mom was my first role model. Through her I saw business in action. She was enterprising – she could stretch a dollar – I had an awesome balloon skirt for my violin recital to show for that. My mom was creative – oh, the fun stuff she made and the ideas she had. My mom was a negotiator – whether at the store or with a service provider at our home, she was going to get what was due! I had a few embarrassing moments as a child – when I just wanted to let something go, but it was important for me to see that we can hold others accountable for what they promise to do.

As a manager, I am a good steward of resources thanks to my mother’s example. I have the highest standards for myself, for my team and for my constituents just as my mother does. Also like my mom, I am critical at times (you want someone to break you down quickly, just call my mom). But it comes from the deep belief that she and I have that the best thing we can do for others is to have high expectations for them, to support them in moving toward that, and also hold them accountable.

My mom showed me that with persistence I could do or be anything I had the audacity to dream. At six years old, I watched my mother walk across a stage to graduate from college. She was in her mid-thirties with three children. I don’t remember her studying or going off to class. She was too busy reading with me in the breakfast nook and running me to all my activities. As a teenager, she had left college after just one year. And while it was several years later, she went back to college to earn her degree. I can only imagine how challenging that was to do.

I am so proud to call Frances McKinney mom. I honor her every day through my work and through my steely compassion for others. So many people have been important to the person that I have become, but no one more than my mother.

Mom – I love you and thank you. Happy Birthday!