Why Leave That Good Job? When Family Doesn’t Support Business School

You have a “good” job. You make more than your parents – possibly more than them combined. You are doing well – getting promotions and raises. And you work for a good company with benefits and a strong reputation. Why the heck would you give that up to go back to school? You already have a college degree, which you are still paying for.

This is the line of thinking that many under-represented minorities and first-generation college graduates face when considering business school. You may want to go to graduate school, but may not necessarily get the encouragement that others of us take for granted. It’s possible that your parents, family and friends don’t understand why you want to leave your successful and stable life.

While you can certainly do this without them, you shouldn’t have to. Even if your family can’t read your MBA admissions essays or suggest schools for you to consider, they can provide the emotional support, physical support (a home-cooked meal can be the boost you need to get through a Saturday of GMAT prep) and the life insights that will keep you grounded throughout the application process and in business school. Also if your family is behind you all the way, that means they aren’t standing in your way – this process is hard enough, you don’t need your family to be an additional impediment.

So if you’ve got people in your life that are important to you, but that may not quite be on board with this whole “business school” thing, here are a few steps you can take to bring them along:

1.       Get Clear On What You Want

You have to know what you want and why before you can explain it to someone else. Why do you want to go to business school? What is motivating you? What will the MBA provide you that you can’t get from continuing on your current course? Don’t start this analysis by trying to figure out how you are going to convince your dad that you should go to business school. You will have plenty of time to craft arguments later. Forget everyone else and focus on yourself. Think about the opportunities that business school offers as well as the risks.

2.       Determine Your Goal

Once you are clear about what you want and why the MBA is the right next step for you, it’s time to prepare for the conversation(s). It’s important for you to have clear goals. While it would be awesome for your family to support the idea of you going to business school, your real goal is that they support you regardless of what you do. That type of stanch support comes from mutual respect and open dialogue. You must be willing to listen to what your family is saying to you to glean their underlying concerns. Likely embedded in their concerns are the dreams that they have for you; business school may not even be the real issue. Maybe it’s having a family? “When are you going to get married and give me grandchildren?” Your mom may be concerned that business school is going to delay or even worse, preclude you having a family. Of course, that feels like nagging, but truly it’s her hope that you can have the support and love of a spouse and the joy of children (like she has). You don’t have to agree with your family nor is it your job to persuade them to take your position, but respect that their perspectives, while not right for you, are grounded in wanting you to be happy.

3.       Have An Ongoing Dialogue About Business School

Commit to have an ongoing dialogue about business school and your personal and professional goals. That dialogue should include not just sharing your perspective, but allowing your family to develop its own understanding of business school. You might find that showing them the websites of your target schools (or a brochure of you can find one these days) and even take them on a campus visit helps them see the opportunities that an MBA offers. It’s not so common that prospective students bring their parents on campus visits, but schools will gladly host you and your parents. Again you are not trying to convince your family that business school is the best plan for you. You want them to support you and trust that you will be sane and thoughtful about the decision to attend business school.